Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Appointment With Regular Endocrinologist

Waited over an hour in the waiting room, went in, 5 minutes later Dr. L came in, told me that I can't have laparoscopic surgery, let me know considering the study wasn't really smart, told me to not worry about being cut open and that lots of her patients have no adrenal glands no biggie, told me to get daycare to take care of Lil Man after surgery, gave Lil Man dirty looks because he was misbehaving, seemed irritated that I told her to call Dr. Wells, gave me copies of the kids' tests, told me that my problems with focusing and remembering things (I can't go anywhere by myself anymore because I can't remember what I'm doing from one minute to the next) are most likely from stress and/or depression, and I left.

The kids 24 hour urine test came back and as far as that goes they aren't showing any signs of pheos yet. The rest of the test results are currently MIA. No clue where they are or why they weren't with these test results. So the good news is no pheos in the kids yet.

I hate doctors. I really really hate doctors. That is the suckiest part of all this. I hate doctors and the Fates KNOW I hate doctors so they stick me having to deal with them every month for the rest of my life.

The longer version of what I said before is that I guess they were running way behind (I waited an hour to see the doctor) and I don’t know if that is what made the doctor moody/distant or what but she was NOT acting how I expected. I had told her in an email that the way things are at home I just would rather not get treatment right now because I’m safer that way. It's just hard dealing with all the attitudes at home some days. She made the appointment with me because she said that worried her and she wanted to talk to me. Well from the moment she entered the room she was trying to rush me out the door.

I started to tell her about the study with Dr. Wells and she cut me off before I even got to start. Basically she let me know that she thought it was stupid of me to even consider the laparoscopic surgery. She even went so far to tell me that I couldn’t have it done because my tumors were too big. When I said we would be leaving the tumors in my liver and intestine she got this look on her face like she couldn’t believe I would even consider such a thing. *sigh*

I told her I’m having trouble focusing lately and that I can’t go shopping by myself anymore because I will forget what I’m doing and also end up in a part of the store and not remember how I got there. If the kids or Vin is with me it’s not a big deal but I went to Walmart the other night for what should have been a half hour trip TOPS and was gone for 2 hours. Ugh. So anyway- she informed me that it was most likely due to stress or depression and she would hate to blame EVERYTHING on the pheos.

Ummmmmmmmm no actually you can blame that on the hyperparathyroidism although she now says my calcium levels were fine. Okay then WHY are we saying I have hyperparathyroidism??? Funny, I’m staring at test results that show my calcium out of normal range and my parathyroid hormone out of range as well. It MUST be that I am just a depressed mess. *eyeroll* Why do doctors always think if a person goes through a rough spot then they MUST be depressed? Maybe some of us actually can handle bad things happening in our lives. I wish they would consider that.

This really sucks and I am stressed out and at times things seem depressing but I don’t have time for that crap! I have three kids to worry about so I will be damned if I’m going to get depression thank you very much!! Oh and for the record- I've been under WAY more stress before so stress is not causing my problems right now. It takes alot more than this crap to break me and if I was depressed I wouldn't be the one doing so much to try to get this stuff taken care of!!!!

Anyway- so I didn’t get to tell her about the study, she flaked me off, told me I need to get the scans in Tampa, and told me basically to forget the laparoscopic adrenalectomy. Like I said, I hope she was just having a bad day because I was really starting to like her.

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