Wednesday, August 23, 2006

My New Hero and Update On Us

I came across a blog today that truly set me back on my heels. It was a blog I needed to see because I've been sitting here feeling sorry for myself lately. Then I found Ruben. Ruben's blog Each Day Counts is an amazing display of an amazing man and his life. He is my new hero and I am so glad I found his blog. Please be sure to visit and encourage him as he fights for a much needed liver transplant among other things. I am very humbled right now.

Our update- On Monday I went to my six week check-up with the rheumatologist and really can't complain. To be honest, I didn't think he had much of a personality before but now he's not half bad. I may even end up liking him. lol

He has finally given up on the whole Elavil for fibromyalgia thing and we are going to try Cymbalta 120mg daily (60mg twice daily). Cymbalta supposedly has had good results on fibro pain and even though it didn't work when the pain specialist tried it for my nerve damage, I'm willing to give it a try for fibro. Oh who am I kidding? I'd give just about anything a try right now for this pain! :)

We discussed the stress factor again and he was pretty dismayed. I told him that I am to blame in part because I have always been a very stressed out person. I learned that at a young age and it has stuck with me. He told me again that lowering my stress levels is a must because the more stressed I am the more I am going to hurt.

Friday- Big B and I had appointments with Dr M. Big B's appointment was a follow-up to check his acne and see if the med he is on for it is helping. Dr M gave him a prescription for 500mg of the tetracyclene three times daily and told him that his acne is looking much better. YAY! Big B also told Dr M about his insomnia the last few months. Dr M decided to do thyroid bloodwork to make sure everything is okay there. I feel like a moron because I didn't think of that sooner (hypothyroidism can cause insomnia). :( So we'll see how that turns out.

During my appointment Dr M addressed the stress thing too. He then referred me to a psychiatrist that deals strictly with teaching people how to deal with chronic pain. This new doctor will teach me little ways to help myself ease the pain from the fibro and maybe that will help me feel a little less stressed. I figure it's worth a try (aren't I very agreeable at this point? lol).

Dr M also raised the Neurontin to 1800mg daily and we can go as high as 2700mg. I'm really hoping we find a dosage that eases the neuropathy because it would be great to go through even one day without having to constantly rub my hands. It sounds like such a small thing but when you are constantly rubbing your hands (I'm even doing it as I take breaks from typing. lol) even something insignificant like not having to rub them is a big deal to you.

So higher dosages on meds for Big B and I, new med for me, and a referral for me.

Still trying to get Sis into physical therapy but now they are saying she has to go to this dental specialist who will then refer her for therapy. *eyeroll* Unfortunately this falls under our dental insurance instead of medical insurance and that means it will cost us around $300 for that dental specialist. Yeah, we'll just pull that money out of our asses too. *sigh*

Thursday, August 17, 2006

The Power Of Comments

*This is a cross post from my Life With Heathens blog but I wanted to share it here as well. Some words and links have been changed around so it makes sense here.*

I've received some very humbling comments in the last few days on both this blog and our LWH blog. Usually comments are just short witty phrases to let you know a person was there. I've always thought comments were alot of fun and can't imagine my blogs without them.

The ones I've had here lately though have honestly set me back on my heels, which is a good thing don't worry. :) People have commented that reading about me and my family has made them want to be more positive and given them hope. That's such a powerful thing to say and I never expected to have it aimed at me. As I said, it's very humbling and appreciated more than those of you who comment could know.

You see, here at home my husband says I bitch, nag, and complain too much (even if I'm just talking about my day it's considered bitching). My kids look at me often in disappointment because I can't take them somewhere they wanted to go. Some days I sit here and do nothing but cry because I feel so worthless and like such a failure. On one hand I know it's not my fault and it's because of the fibromyalgia, peripheral neuropathy, no thyroid, metastic cancer, no adrenal glands, and the meds I'm on. When I think of that I'm proud of myself because I DO try everyday to be the best I can even though I hurt like hell. On the other hand though my family makes me feel like I'm a burden because I can't be the perfect housekeeper, the perfect runaround mom, the perfect teacher, or the perfect playmate. When I look at that side I feel like I have let them down and it hurts. They don't seem to care (specifically one member) but it hurts my heart greatly.

Then I see comments like the ones mentioned and I feel like at least something I'm doing matters to someone. Right now you have no clue how good that makes me feel.

As if that wasn't enough, I was checking in on my friend, Robin's, blog just reading and scrolling down when I came to this. It was so unexpected and put me in tears. I never knew she thought that way about me and it honestly made my whole month. Thank you again Robin for being such a great friend. I truly feel blessed.

So this post is just to let all of you who comment know that I appreciate ALL the comments you leave. It's like getting little happy notes in your lunchbox when you were a kid. lol. Thank you everyone who comments on this blog, our LWH blog, and our homeschool blog as well. I am forever humbled by your words.

I don't have any updates for you right now. I'm currently up to 12oomg of Neurontin and it's not doing anything so I'm sure that will be raised again next week. I see the Rheumatologist on Monday and I'm going to push for no more Elavil bull either. It's time to try something new.

Sis will be getting a mouthpiece next week in hopes that it will help her TMJ and I have to call and kick some arse because no one has bothered setting up her physical therapy (it's been well over a month now).

Thank you and blessings to all.