No Doctor's Month
February was my no doctors month. I'm tired of it all. I wanted one month to feel semi-normal again so I refused to see anyone for this entire month. Good part was not having to go to appointments constantly but the bad part was I spent a month in pain and sick.

The pain in my limbs is now pain everywhere but especially in my hands/arms, feet/legs, hips, upper back, and shoulders. Sleep comes and goes although its going more and more since I quit taking my Elavil. That's another story I'll tell in a second. Anyway- the pain around my scar in my neck is worse too as well as my right shoulder. Dr M is going to have a total mess on his hands when he sees me this week. And I don't have more pain because of quitting the Elavil because the pain was there before that.

Someone mentioned fibromyalgia to me but I have no clue. Honestly? Does it really matter at this point? I mean, what is one more diagnosis in this clusterf**k I call my health? I've just come to realize that MEN2a comes with alot of things that are known and unknown so be ready for anything.

The reason I quit taking the Elavil is because I think I'm gaining even more weight. All my clothes are tight and while everything of mine is getting tighter, my husband seems to be dropping weight like it's nothing. I want to be happy for him but at the same time I want to choke him. LOL. Seriously though, it's just hard to see him losing while I'm gaining and having to roll through my head that I can't lose the weight. It's led to several whiny crying sessions on my part lately to say the least.

I asked a few questions on the medullary cancer group I'm on and everyone was wonderful. I found that quite a few people have had nerve damage and pain after the neck surgery like mine. Unfortunately they all said mine sounded much worse than theirs but at least now I know I'm not a total freak. Another lady also said that you can lose the weight contrary to what doctors say. Of course, she also talked about being on higher doses of steroids as well. I'm on about as low as I can go and I just gain. It's not because I eat alot either because my kids eat more than I do and I've never been a big eater. As far as exercise goes, it's hard to do much when your hips feel like someone hit you with a sledgehammer everytime you get going or your hands stiffen when you hold your bike handles or you have numbness in your shoulder that after five minutes makes you drop anything you might be holding.

This crap sucks! I'm not saying that in a poor me way either. It sucks for anyone. I'm very thankful to be alive but I'm not thankful to be a 31 year old woman who feels like she's almost 90. I have too much to do in life. I don't have time for aches and pain.

March will be busy. I will actually be turning 31, I have my appointment to get checked for cervical cancer, appointment with Dr M, the kids have their first apointment with the ped endo, and I finally have my appointment with the neurologist. All that AND I homeschool too. Busy busy but I think that is what keeps me semi-sane.