Day Four of Doxazosin and Weaning

Not sure if I should consider today better or not. I'm not having difficulty breathing or chest tightness today so that much is good. I woke up with the dry mouth, stuffy nose, dizziness, and a migraine from Hades. It was awful. Luckily it was partially caused by lack of caffiene over the past two days so once I got some in me it eased up some. Not much but some is better than nothing and I'll take it! ;)

We made it through last night okay. My oldest was a big help all weekend and I have promised to try to convince Vin to let him attend spring football at school so he can be on the high school football team in the fall.. :) It was nice having the kiddo come through me this time and I greatly appreciate it. I don't know how I would have done it without him to be honest. As for Sis, I'm just so disappointed in her behavior this weekend. Words can not even express the hurt I'm feeling.

Lil Man did good with the weaning yesterday and didn't even try to nurse at bedtime. Just asked to "hold it", snuggled up for a bit, and then rolled over and went to sleep. Same thing when he woke up this morning and he hasn't been hounding me today to nurse at all. I am so thankful it brings tears that this is going easier than I thought it would. It seems the only one who has ended up traumatized from this is ME. LOL. We're not out of the woods yet but at least he seems to be okay with it. We're going to pick him up his special cup tonight as part of his reward for doing so well. The only downside to all this is that he's now a 2 year old with a pacifier and I hate seeing that thing in his mouth but I know he needs something for comfort right now.

Tonight will be the start of me taking three pills a day so we will see where this leads to. Only about 7 more days until the surgery. I'm so nervous at this point that sometimes I feel sick because of it. I just never thought I would be going through stuff like this. These are things you hear about other people going through. I don't think you can ever prepare for something like this. I mean, if I had just been told I had cancer and it had spread I would have considered it dumb luck and been mad but a hereditary gene mutation that my kids also have as well?? UNREAL! I am also still very angry that because one woman couldn't THINK before she had sex or at least get the name of the guy she had sex with now me and my children have to be hit with this and no history to help us get through. Again, thanks for NOTHING egg donor!

I am just very thankful that this cancer is slow moving, that I'm one of the rare ones to have low blood pressure even with pheos, that we found out in time to make the kids' lives easier, and that I have a good chance of seeing my children grow up. So many horrible things could have happened but in the midst of all this awful stuff I have been gifted with so much and I am so thankful for it.