NOW I Have Reached The Limit...

and I really just can't do this anymore.

So anyone wanna know what all the swelling in my neck from my surgery on the 15th was from?A G-DAMN ABSESS!!! That's right, the entire left side of my neck is absessed and disgusting. I thought I had just done something wrong during the playdate I had with a friend but nope, it was my neck showing how badly infected it had gotten.

Last Friday I called my surgeon and said AGAIN that it was huge and that I felt something was wrong. AGAIN she made me feel like crap and guilt tripped me into not coming in. So at 3am on Saturday morning I wake up because I feel something on my neck. Turn on the bathroom light and there is blood and pus EVERYWHERE. It seems that my neck got so swollen it popped a stitch in my incision to let out the festering shit that was inside.

Since I don't have any feeling at all in that side of my neck due to nerve damage, I didn't feel anything other than the outward appearance and hardness I could touch with my hands. I can't imagine what this would have felt like if my neck wasn't all messed up!

I squeezed a whole lot of stuff out of the wound, put some triple antibiotic on it, and went in to Urgent Care. I found out I had an absess, they cleaned it out (they could stick a swab almost three inches into my neck), packed it with gauze, covered the entire left side of my neck with padding and tape, and put me on antibiotics & steroids.

So I spent part of Big B's birthday in Urgent Care, had to go back to have it repacked on Sunday, had to go in again today for the same, have to go back again tomorrow....and who knows how long this will go on.

The best part? The fucking surgeon's office won't squeeze me in even though I told them how badly they have messed up!!! That's okay, I've documented every single part of this and I'm having someone's ass for this!!!

I just don't get why I keep getting crappy medical care. I'm really not a hard patient to deal with. I TRY to find good doctors. What am I doing so wrong here? I feel so beaten down and keep crying at the drop of the hat for the first time since all of this began with pity. The "Why Me?" crap is real heavy here right now but I think that's because the shitty care just seem to keep coming and coming and coming like I'm SUPPOSE to be broken by it. *sigh* I hate doctors! HATE THEM!!!